This Season Is for Your Joy, Not Just Your Calendar
how to say no, slow down, and savor summer your way
After the cold, gloomy months and constant rain, summer feels like an invitation to reconnect with yourself. It’s a time when we actively seek joy through day parties, cookouts, and beach days. We find any reason to gather for conversation and play. The daylight lasts much longer, so it’s natural to take time for slow mornings where you can relax with a book and a cup of tea. Recently, I realized that I’ve been so busy that I've been neglecting my own needs.
It’s unintentional, but between work, night events, friends and family, time for myself has been scarce. This means I haven’t taken the time to indulge in the beauty routines that keep my skin happiest, nor have I gotten enough sleep to sustain this pace. But summer has just begun, and we can still make this the summer we choose what feels good, not just what fills the calendar.
The Art of Choosing Yourself Every Single Day
Culturally, by summer, we tend to have full social calendars and stay outside to enjoy the sun before the long, dark days return. This week alone, I was invited to two evening events and a day party. Additionally, I've taken tennis lessons twice and am handling a full workload. Living in Atlanta, I need to step out looking my best for each of these social occasions. This summer, we’re ditching the messaging that tells us to do more, look perfect, and stay booked.
Instead, we’re choosing ourselves and reframing this season for restoration without the pressure of others' expectations. We’re considering whether we have enough mental and emotional space before agreeing to those outside plans. We’re embracing solitude when necessary, allowing our best selves to emerge by returning to a foundation of personal care repeatedly to fully enjoy what this time of year has to offer. You can’t make joyful memories from an empty cup.
Our Summer Pillars
😴 Rest that actually restores: Incorporate time for mental and emotional relaxation. Prioritize getting 7-8 hours of sleep, slowing down during weekends, and taking days for a digital detox. Choose morning and evening rituals that ground you. Allow for reflection and clear thinking.
🏃🏾♀️ Movement that feels good: Whether you dance, swim, or run, choose a daily activity that brings you joy. Paying consistent attention to moving your body offers countless physical and mental benefits. Don’t stress by striving for perfection; instead, focus on establishing the habit and showering yourself with love by making movement enjoyable.
💄 Dress for yourself: Wear the shorts, buy the swimsuit, and get outside. Take up space. Put on the makeup… or don’t. Dress in a way that reflects how you want to be seen in the world. Ignore the trends and pull out those outfits from your closet that you’ve been waiting to wear. You don’t need a special occasion to wear the clothes you own. Choose gratitude when dressing yourself, and reframe what stepping out looks like and feels like. I’m grateful for the dress I wear to brunch and for having a body that can sit with my girls for a while. Dressing yourself is an act of self-expression, so give yourself positive affirmation during the process.
🥗 Nourishment that feels like care: Amid summer cookouts, day parties, and the heat, remember to stay hydrated. I will never turn down the food that represents our culture, but I can opt for simple, fresh meals that I enjoy in between. This might mean savoring smoothies and fresh salads to balance the half slab of ribs I had at the cookout. Honor your body by not fixating on every single meal or drink; instead, focus on balance and the foods you love.
🧴Beauty rituals for self-care: Don’t skip sunscreen! I love a good glowy skin moment, but beauty rituals can also act as a self-check. Take your time and give your skin a little extra care. Show yourself some love for better physical and emotional health.
☀️ Connection to self, to nature, to others: Say yes to all the things that light you up. Say no to what drains you. Indulge in hobbies, solo dates, and community outings. Spend time in nature and by the pool. Enjoy all the festivals, parks, and recreation that summer has to offer. Get out of the group chat and meet in person. This summer, cultivate and deepen your relationships with those in your circle, helping to fill your cup with positivity.
Self-Love Summer Challenge
I invite you to create your own mini summer challenge focused on self-love. Based on the pillars above, compile a list of small daily and weekly actions you can take this summer. Select 3-5 to try and commit to completing these activities every single week until Fall. This can be as simple as pausing before saying yes, choosing five minutes of stillness each day, and/or committing to one fun outing per week.
Taking lessons from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:
Make it obvious: Identify the cues that trigger your actions and make them clear
Make it attractive: Find ways to make your new action enjoyable and appealing
Make it easy: Start with small, manageable steps and build momentum
Make it satisfying: Ensure your action provides a positive reward or outcome that reinforces the behavior
I’m focusing on rest, skin and body care, hydration, and hobbies this summer. Judging by my social calendar so far, connection is being offered to me, so I’m going to prioritize scheduling a few pauses for solo outings and time in nature. Join me and share your intentions or self-love action items for your summer mini challenge in the comments.
You Deserve This
Define summer for yourself and make this the turning point in how you care for yourself. Self-love is an inherent right. You do not have to accomplish anything or see yourself as a reward. Prioritizing yourself makes every action you take afterward more centered and confident. Your kids, your partner, your friends, and family will be grateful to receive a joyful, engaged version of you rather than the overwhelmed, tired version that comes from pouring into everyone but yourself.
Here’s your reminder to include yourself on that to-do list.
✍🏾 How are you pouring into yourself this summer?
Until next time,